Dear Tommy,
There's a lot of things people will never be able to agree on, and with us this may be one of those things. To me forever is such an alien concept, to you it's something true and is real. But I guess anything is possible, yet still to me I don't believe in it, I don't think I ever will. Children say forever, and it never happens and if it does, it's rarely. Trust me, I've meant to be friends with people, and that's a lot easier, it always is, and it doesn't work not all the time. But we WILL always be friends, it's how this started and how it will always be. Friends before lovers. That's something you need to know, it's always going to be true!
The idea of forever actually freaks me out for several reasons; I'm 16, and in my mind that makes me still a kid, and I'm one at heart too, as well as being extremely immature at times, you have no idea. Then there's the whole I'm such a loser your my first boyfriend, plus I just don't like the thought of knowing my future. That doesn't help when I have no clue what I'm doing in six months.
So yeah, it's odd to me, and I'm really unsure about everything; my future, my life and where it's all going. But I know these things; right now I love you, and I want to be with you so much, and this is going to be the best summer ever. Don't worry, I always feel like I have to say this, because sometimes I feel I can't trust you, and some of the phone calls we've had have scared me so much I just can't trust you to be okay, as bad as that sounds, it's true.
I love you, and I owe you this: the truth, because when you love someone that's what you owe them. I hate lying to people I love unless it's to protect them, harmless or in jest. Believe me I do love you, but I don't believe in forever, but I do believe we are going to be friends for life no matter what. Remember friends before lovers. Anything else should be seen as a bonus, something else. I just never want to hurt you, so you should know this. It's not me being horrible, I hope, just honest.
I love you Babydoll
Lea xxx
I completely understand my sweet. I dont want to rush anything. This is the first time i have ever felt something this REAL. So tangible within.
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that we are connected in many ways and friends we will always be, like we have always been. Best friends. The only diference is now we're together there is a commitment. I dont know whats going to happen in 6 months either.....whether i'm going to be a success or in the gutter (not litterally).
Now I swear to you that you have me for life in whatever capacity you choose. I just want you to know how much a muse you have been to me. you and the other person i told you about who is helping me are my reason. He inspires me to get the songs down and you inspire me to write them.
Sequinned hearts e.p can be financed and its half yours babydoll.
I just want you to know the impact you had on my life, my mind, wy whole world.
I love you so much and forever or not, soulmates can never be broken.
X